Line up for your free testosterone shot

Hollywood was in trouble, after a steady stream of mindless movies, many of them violent and animated, nobody wanted to see. Things got so bad analysts were predicting the entire studio industry might collapse.

But now Hollywood's back! With a blockbuster! "The Odyssey" - Christopher Nolan's epic portrayal of Homer's 3,000-year-old poem about the long, adventurous return home of Ulysses, following the Trojan War. Believe me, it's awesome. Superb acting by Matt Damon and Anne Hathaway, among others. Magnificent cinematography. Never a dull moment. Three hours flash by in no time. Go see it tonight. On IMAX if possible.

The challenges confronting Ulysses in his 10-year odyssey home are mind-boggling: the Cyclops; Circe, the woman who turns his soldiers into pigs; an army of giant cannibals; the Sirens; the whirlpool Charybdis and the man-eating rock monster Scylla. Ulysses faces and overcomes them all. Only to return home and single-handedly slay the 30 suitors who've been badgering his wife Penelope. We've never seen a man of such incredible energy, strength and courage.

But here's the most amazing part: Ulysses did it all - without being tested for testosterone! Which would probably make the mighty Ulysses unqualified to serve in Pete Hegseth's Pentagon.

In so many ways, the Trump administration resembles nothing so much as a real-life version of "Saturday Night Live." Seriously! Turning the beautiful Reflecting Pool into a scum-filled puddle. Starting a war without knowing how to get out of it. Covering the walls of every room in the White House with gold. Refusing to get off the stage after the World Cup finals. Trump may be the funniest SNL character since John Belushi.

But no writer for SNL could come up with a funnier skit than what we saw from Pete Hegseth, the self-appointed "Secretary of War," last week. Having long complained that today's military are not "manly enough," Hegseth announced a new policy requiring every member of the military over 30, both men and women, to be tested once a year for testosterone. If their level was considered low, they'd be offered a voluntary hormone replacement therapy.

His goal, Hegseth declared - yes, he actually used this phrase - was to create "the High-T Department of War." Why? Because, he said, troops had to be on the "leading edge of lethality."

If mandatory testosterone testing were nothing but a SNL skit, we could laugh it off. But when that becomes the official policy of the secretary of Defense, with the backing of the president, this must be condemned as the frightening, unscientific and medically dangerous proposal it is. There's so much wrong with it.

First, Hegseth totally misrepresents what the military's all about. It's not meant to be just a giant, killing machine. The Department of Defense itself summarizes its mission as providing the military forces needed to "deter war" - repeat, to "deter" war - and "ensure the nation's security."

Second, it totally ignores the changing nature of war. The days when a war will be waged on the ground, going door-to-door in hostile cities, charging up mountains, or fighting mano-a-mano are over. Most military operations today are in the form of missiles or drones, controlled on ships, aircraft, or military bases far from any battlefield.

Third, it's an insult to the 1.33 million men and women currently on active duty in the military - all of whom, in effect, Hegseth, is accusing of not being "macho" enough. They're doing a great job, protecting us. Hegseth should support, not belittle, them.

Fourth, it is medically unsound. The body's quite capable, without Hegseth's intervention, of managing testosterone levels on its own. Medical experts agree. For men over 40, levels annually drop from 1 percent to 2 percent. Higher testosterone levels don't necessarily mean more energy, or "killer" instincts. Lower levels don't necessarily mean weakness.

And, besides, there are serious downsides to consider. Boosting testosterone levels can increase the risk of heart disease or stroke. Plus, after a few months on topical or injectable testosterone, the body stops making its own. Which means men and women would need regular replacement shots. And nobody's estimated the cost to taxpayers of Hegseth's folly.

Finally, not to get personal, but isn't Pete Hegseth the last one to be talking? He dresses and struts like a peacock. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. He had a new makeup room created in the Pentagon. He's by far the least manly-looking member of the Cabinet. Maybe the first person who needs a testosterone shot is him.

(Bill Press is host of The BillPressPod, and author of 10 books, including: "From the Left: My Life in the Crossfire." His email address is: bill@billpress.com. Readers may also follow him on Twitter @billpresspod and on BlueSky @BillPress.bsky.social.)

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Since last Saturday, when news broke about the sudden death of South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, tributes poured in from his Senate colleagues, both Republican and Democrat. Whether or not they agreed with him on any given issue, they said, he worked hard for his home state, was occasionally willing to work across the aisle and was always fun to hang out and have dinner with.

All of which may be true. But, unfortunately, none were willing to add the ultimate truth about Lindsey Graham: he was a total sell-out. He sold out his country. He sold out his state. He sold out his party. He sold out his soul - to the most unfit, disgusting, racist, sexist, inept, and corrupt president in history.

I first met Graham when he was a young Republican congressman from South Carolina and I was the new co-host of CNN's "Crossfire." He quickly became one of our favorite guests because he was so sharp, funny, and articulate, the kind of moderate Republican everybody at that time admired. But the Lindsey Graham I knew then is not the same Lindsey Graham we've seen sitting in Trump's lap the last 10 years.

In those days, while clearly a conservative Republican, Graham was never afraid to differ with his own party when he felt it necessary. When he moved up to the Senate in 2003, he immediately became a major player, teaming up and becoming best friends with another maverick, Arizona's Senator John McCain.

It was no surprise, then, in 2015, that Graham was one of the first Republicans to denounce candidate Donald Trump, especially after Trump claimed McCain was no "war hero" because he'd been captured. "I like people who weren't captured," Trump said in July 2015. In return, Graham called Trump a "demagogue" and a "race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot." "You know how you make America great again?" Graham said in a CNN interview in 2015. "Tell Donald Trump to go to hell." He likened Trump's winning the nomination to "being shot in the head," and later admitted voting for independent candidate Evan McMullin, rather than for Trump or Hillary Clinton.

But suddenly, when Trump was elected, Graham changed, as the New York Times headlined, "from Trump critic to acolyte." He became one of Trump's closest advisers, frequent guest at the White House, and regular golf partner. John McCain's former best friend was now Donald Trump's new BFF.

How can you go from being John McCain's best friend to Donald Trump's best friend? You can't, if you have any self-respect. Yet Lindsey Graham did. For four years. Until Jan. 6, 2021, when he did another 180.

After the Trump-inspired assault on the Capitol, Lindsey Graham publicly broke with Trump. "We've had a hell of a journey," he declared that evening. "I hate it to end this way..." But "all I can say is count me out. Enough is enough."

That didn't last long. Trump didn't change. But Graham changed. Again. Maybe he missed yukking it up with POTUS on the golf course. Who knows? But five months later, Graham rejoined the Trump choir. "Can we move forward without President Trump? The answer is no," he said in May 2021. And he remained an effusive Trump acolyte until the end. Just last month, after thanking God for his primary victory in South Carolina, Graham joked: "Mr. President, you're not far behind God."

There are some who believe Lindsey Graham represented the best of Washington. I think they're wrong. In fact, I think Graham represented the worst of Washington, because he believed in nothing. He was willing to sell out everything he'd once believed in and everything his party once stood for. Why? Only because he loved the thrill of feeling important by hanging out with the big fish himself in the Oval Office and on the golf course. As Graham once gushed to the New York Times' Peter Baker, "He allowed me into his world. That's great."

No doubt, history will judge Donald Trump harshly. But history will judge even more harshly his enablers. People like Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, JD Vance, and others, who went from denouncing Trump to kissing his butt, even after he sent a mob to invade the Capitol, destroyed the East Wing of the White House, launched trigger-happy ICE agents into American cities, and added $10 trillion to the national debt. Starting with Lindsey Graham, they must forever be held accountable for all the damage Trump has done.
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